Let’s Write like Kurt Vonnegut

I wrote a novel about life on a planet named Gramma-Nine, which had low gravity compared to Earth. The people there used to fly around. Sometimes they jumped and never landed.

This created terrible problems for the people of Gramma-Nine. The law of gravity required that objects with mass attract each other. This was a problem because the people of Gramma-Nine were ugly.

This is what an asshole looks like.

But the Federal Government came through with an emergency program. It gave a heavy lead ball to every man, woman, and child on planet Gramma-Nine.

There was a cable with a harness on it attached from each ball. With the help of the balls, Gramma-Ninians could go on inhabiting the planet without fear of floating off into space.

Unfortunately, they were still ugly and died of lead poisoning.